How is your STRATitude -- Your stress level and attitude

BY PETER SCHOR
Showroom specialist

First of all, I hope to see you and your management at the ASA Convention and ISH-North America September 26-30 in Chicago. I will be very accessible at TMB Publishing's booth for The Wholesaler, PHC News and Plumbing Engineer.

The #1 thing that gets me up with a smile at 5 a.m. each morning is my passion to make a difference in your lives. One of the things that I sincerely enjoyed in my career as a speaker, educator, author and consultant is the great diversity of hot subjects that I get to speak on. Some of the things I tackle are "I" Branding, Creating The New Experience Expected in Luxury Selling, and numerous skills- and knowledge-based training. While I 100% believe that skills and knowledge are of the utmost importance in success, my deepest core thoughts and values say that , above all, attitude is everything!

Many years ago, Zig Ziglar, the master motivator and attitude guru, was interviewed for a national TV news show. The interviewer remarked, "Zig, motivation is not permanent - it has never worked long-term." Zig responded, "You're absolutely 100% right." The interviewer's face looked victorious until Zig said, "Neither is bathing permanent. But if you bathe every day, you will smell good."

How you play the game of life can add or relieve stress. An attitude is like the allegory of seeing the glass half empty or half full. An attitude is your expectation of reading this article. There are most likely three distinctive attitudes or expectations:

• Why am I reading this article?
• Perhaps I will learn something?
• I will devour this article and change my life!

Many of us are taught that it is important to work out physically each day to stay in shape. What about working out mentally for 15 minutes every day? Wouldn't this be a more proactive approach to meeting the challenges of each day? Scientists have proven that it takes approximately 21 repetitive days to change a habit or start a new one. The use of a trigger device - a word or phrase that helps you remember what you need to do daily - helps create the desired change or new habit. These words can be put on the mirror of your bathroom, your refrigerator, the dashboard of your car, your desk or on your telephone at work to remind you what you must do for 21 repetitive days until you own it.

This is how our minds work. I call the conscious mind "The Boss." This is the level where you are reading this article at the moment. I call the sub-conscious mind the "Genie" or the "Computer." The sub-conscious mind is everything that we ever saw, heard or experienced in our lives. The Boss is in control of our Genie/Computer. Regardless of what we have in our Genie/Computer, or whatever our life experiences have been up to this very moment, we can reprogram our Genie/Computer with the use of some proven methods:

• Affirmations (called expectations in the sales world): These are positive statements which, when repeated frequently to your Genie/Computer, create desired results! Many books on affirmations are available at your local bookstore. Brian Tracy, sales training guru, and Og Mandino (may he rest in peace) talked about affirmation and seeing positive expectations in the sales process.
• Subliminal tapes: Taped messages that go to the Genie/Computer mind bypassing the conscious mind while you are sleeping. They are proven and sold at bookstores in a wide variety of titles. A good example of a subliminal tape is the "Berlitz" language tapes that have been advertised consistently in magazines for many years. There is a 100% unconditional money back guarantee if you follow their guidelines. The fine print says "80% subconscious learning and 20% conscious."
• Selective listening: Be selective with your input to your Genie/Computer. The trigger device to use is selective listening. We get our daily information from tv, radio, newspapers and music, most of which is a negative deposit. Unless we selectively listen, we can send bad information to the Genie/Computer!
• Selective communication/self-talk: Scientific research has proven that we talk at the rate of 500 words a minute. Negative self-talk like, "How did I ever get into the field of interior design?"; "We're in a recession," "My prices are too high"; "I can't do it"; and "I'm destroyed," are self-defeating. Repeated over and over again, they become hypnotic.

Reactive language such as "I have to," "I should" and "I must" can be changed to proactive language such as "I choose to," "I will" and "I prefer." Wouldn't it be better to say, "I choose to go to work" for 21 repetitive days rather than "I have to go to work?" If you want to look at the mind in a scientific manner, take a look at the thoughts at the conscious level. These thoughts become feelings at the sub-conscious level and result in a change in your behavior.

Taking it a step further

For those who are more scientific or analytical in their beliefs look at what I am saying as:

• Thoughts
• Feelings
• Behavior.

Why do we get upset about anything that we have no control over? It rains the day of the family picnic. The manufacturer calls to inform us that the air massage tub we ordered will take an additional eight weeks, when our deadline is today.

When we allow these non-controllable upsets to go below the level of the Boss, it causes an emotional upset or "Virus" to our sub-conscious mind. This affects our ability to think in a positive fashion. This Virus creates a domino effect that runs like our electronic computer until the program is finished or until we pull the plug out of the wall. By the time we get home from our design practice, we enter the door of our homes with our spouses, children and dog greeting us with open arms. Through this negative thought process, we either kick the dog or yell at our spouse or children without provocation. One simple way to stop the process is to use a pattern interrupt in the manner of a trigger device. A great trigger device is to say, "Suffering is optional."

Stress is also caused by not doing what you really want to do in life. I believe that we need to check in with ourselves from time to time with self-probing questions like "Am I enrolled in someone else's movie/life/goal?" or "Am I making my own movie?"

Another question is: "What would I do with my life if I knew I could not fail?"

Not having goals is another reason why we get stressed. You can't hit the target if you can't see it! Failing to plan is planning to fail. The feeling of not being in control of our life adds to the stress and negative attitude.

In conclusion, I want you to remember these profound words from Frank Outlaw about Attitude being everything:

Watch your thoughts; they become words
Watch your words; they become actions
Watch your actions! They become habits.
Watch your habits; the become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

Peter Schor, president of Dynamic Results Inc., is an educator, motivational speaker, consultant, coach and writer in our industry and many diverse others. For the past 17 years, he has conducted 100 educational programs yearly, including 34 industry conventions. Schor has great expertise in the field of showrooms and has won many industry awards. He also works with manufacturers in the field of sales, marketing and public relations. Schor has a new book called Pillars of Success, published by Insight Publishing Company. He can be reached at 1491 Ivy Arbor, Lincoln, CA 95648, tel 916/408-5346, fax 916/408-5899, e-mail pschor@dynamicresultsinc.com or website www.dynamicresultsonline.com.